Introverts & Highly Sensitive People

Welcome to the wonderful world of Introverts and Highly Sensitive People (HSPs). The two personalities are separate, yet sometimes connected, and they each deserve their own Blog post (which they will get) but for now – what is an Introvert, what is a Highly Sensitive Person, and why do I love working with them so much?

I love images, and I take a lot of time (some may say procrastinate – I don’t deny it) finding the right images to suit my writing. I didn’t think it would be hard to find a photograph of someone I saw as being an Introvert, or a Highly Sensitive Person… someone enjoying some peace, their own company, maybe with a hot chocolate and a book. Maybe even a big stack of books. Who knows what I was really expecting – but it sure as hell wasn’t this…

According to Canva (and Shutterstock wasn’t much better), this is what an Introvert looks like. And it wasn’t the worst one! But no – this is not the type of person I love to work with. Okay – I would definitely work with anyone who felt bad enough about themselves to hide in a cardboard box all day, but THIS IS NOT AN INTROVERT!

What is an Introvert?

The Oxford Dictionary definition of an Introvert is “a person characterized by introversion; a withdrawn or reserved person.” For some this may be true, but it paints a very, very poor picture of a complex, rich and beautiful personality. Introverts are not made or created, you cannot suddenly decide to to become one. Nor is it something that is catching. Introverts are born, and as much as you cannot decide to be one, you cannot decide not to be one either.

It is though that roughly half of the UK population could identify as being an Introvert, so it’s certainly not unusual. Based on this statistic, half the people you know could be introverted. I hadn’t truly considered the term until the Pandemic, when all of a sudden the memes started to fly around with “you know you’re an Introvert when the country’s in Lockdown and you don’t notice the difference”. Yeah… that was me. Apart, obviously, from the death and corruption and worst global crisis in 100 years; I was perfectly content.

According to the website Introvert Dear, the main identifiers for being an Introvert are:

An Introvert is simply someone who needs time alone to recharge their inner batteries after spending time with other people – even the ones they love. They enjoy quality time over quantity, they prefer peaceable activities and they have great friends. Sounds fantastic doesn’t it? You can read the 21 signs you might be an Introvert on the Introvert Dear website.

What is a Highly Sensitive Person?

Whilst the term Introvert has been around for a while – and not always used as a complement – Highly Sensitive Person is relatively new term; and its scientific name is technically environmental sensitivity. I am not going to provide references for this (even though my academic brain is currently screaming at me) because all the ones I can find also include the word neuroses – again, NO!

In their book Sensitive, authors Jenn Granneman and Andre Solo bring together decades of research into the phenomenon of sensitivity. They say that “sensitivity is defined as the ability to perceive, process and respond deeply to one’s environment”. This may not instantly ring a bell for a HSP, they go on to say that “many sensitive people aren’t even aware they do it”. Their simple definition is…

So, if you think more deeply, you find yourself reflecting on something long after others have forgotten it, you have a problem with harsh lights, you can’t stand the way some textures feel against your skin, or you struggle under pressure; you well be a HSP.

Many HSPs choose, early on in life, to ‘put on a mask’ or adopt a new persona to try and hide their levels on sensitivity. This may work for a while, but it isn’t a sensible (or healthy) coping mechanism. Your greatest weapon is knowledge – know who you are, what you need in order to be who you are and how to adjust your life accordingly.

Sensitivity cannot be diagnosed and, like the Introvert, a Highly Sensitive Person cannot be cured. Because there is nothing wrong with them! Sensitivity can however make you more susceptible to Burnout and Overwhelm as a result of overstimulation.

What is the difference between an Introvert and a HSP?

According to Sensitive, the main difference seems to be what you are sensitive to – or your orientation. “Introversion describes a social orientation”, which means that an Introvert will actively chose to spend time with small groups of people, and who thrives on spending time alone. “Sensitivity, on the other hand, describes an orientation towards one’s environment”; meaning that HSPs are fatigued by highly stimulating environments – whether they are socialising or not.

I’m going to briefly describe an experience I had in my local Post Office, and then you’ll see what they mean. I love going to this shop – it’s small, it’s friendly and it sells great food; as well as being a handy place to post parcels. On one particular day I went in at school pick up time (my first mistake). I was at the counter, posting my post. There was the lovely owner serving me, there was another lovely lady working at the shop counter, a male customer, and a female customer with three children. Bear with me…

I was talking to Post Office lady. She was also talking to the man behind me. The lady with the children was talking to the lady behind the shop counter and one of her children was repeatedly shouting something along the lines of “can I have this, can I have this, can I have this”. And my brain just stopped working.

I couldn’t see straight. I couldn’t think straight. I hope I actually paid her, because once I could get my legs to move I practically ran out of the shop. Luckily Rob was driving and I sat in complete silence all the way home. My ears were ringing. I was disorientated. I had no idea what was happening to me! It took me a whole year before I finally came across the concept of the HSP. It was as if, all of a sudden, someone saw who I really was.

It wasn’t just that there were too many people in that shop. Yes there were, but there was also too much noise, coming from too many sources. The lights were too bright. Damn it, even my clothes felt wrong. I was overstimulated, and completely Overwhelmed.

Why would a HSP or Introvert want to work with me?

The first reason would have to be my understanding, or empathy, of how you are likely to be feeling. If you’re experiencing Reiki for the first time, then you’re likely to be anxious or uncertain. If you’ve had Reiki before, but haven’t met me before then you’re highly likely to be wondering what I’m like and whether I’m going to try and make small talk on where you’re going for your holidays this year. Fear not – I’m more likely to start telling you about the most recent wildlife we’ve had in the pond, or what book I’m reading at the moment. I’m a bit of a nerd, please bear with me!

I have been described, over the years, as quiet, shy (not true in the right circumstances), friendly, welcoming, a bit weird, quirky, does things a bit differently, will stand up against injustice, empathetic; but above all, welcoming. I’m going to be welcoming you into my home – not a busy salon – and I will do everything I can to make you feel at home too.

My Reiki room is (as I’ve just said) in my home, in South Stainley – between Ripon and Harrogate. It is in a quiet village as opposed to a bustling town. It is in my home, not a salon or treatment centre with lots of other people. You may hear Horace and Pete next door (two small dogs) for a very short time, or a tractor rumbling past; but that’s about all.

I have set my Reiki room up specifically with sensitive people in mind. I don’t use scents of any kind, so you won’t be hit with an overwhelming wall of fragrance when you come in. My home is entirely scent free (due to my allergies – I suffer from MCAS), which can make life a lot more pleasant for those with sensitive noses. The light levels will be low, so the environment is soothing and calming. There will be music, but not overly loud. The covers on my Reiki bed are all natural fabrics – cotton and linen – the exception being the blanket I will offer, which one client described as being like a teddy bear! All of these are washed in scent free, eco friendly products.

Reiki works with the energy that flows throughout your body, and it can help to reduce stress and anxiety. It can also begin to heal emotional trauma through the clearance of blocked and stagnant energies; leaving you feeling calmer, lighter and more joyful – something that a lot of sensitive people desperately need.

If you’d like to learn more about Reiki, and how it could help you as an introvert or Highly Sensitive Person, then please do get in touch or see the About Reiki page.